I'd Rather Deal With the Teenagers

It was late and I was in bed, sleepy but not quite asleep. The television was on for background noise, and my husband had been asleep for a while already.

I was surprised when I heard a car go by our house on our little backroad street with its radio blasting and bass thumping. I don't recall ever hearing that out here before. I even muted the television to get a better listen. Sure enough, that's what it sounded like -- some punk kid and his stereo on steroids. But soon enough the car had gone past, I unmuted the television, and went back to trying to sleep...

... until a few seconds later when the unmistakable odor of my husband's farts wafted over to my side of the bed. I buried my head under the covers, thankful that we each had our own blanket, and wishing that what I heard had actually been outside.